Usut mikisuaraavoq, talliunnaranilu - visit to Greenland

(fair play to you, if you can translate the greenlandic words)

Back in '79 - '80, my parents decided they wanted to be a host family to a teenager from Greenland. Back in those days Greenland was ruled by the Danish government. It was our last colony.

Please note that most nations such as UK, Holland, Portugal, all had their share of colonies, but for some bizarre reason the Danes went as far North as possible, and found the coldest piece of rock and claimed it as theirs.  Rumour has it that Iceland should have been named Greenland and vice versa, but some old fart made a mistake on some maps and the names were permanently swapped.  No wonder Denmark never "discovered" and owned other colonies around the World.  We did have some islands in the Caribbean, but we sold them!

Anyway, we had this teenager living with us for 3 months, hoping to help her learn Danish.  To be honest, 3 months is not enough time to learn Danish, especially not the dialect we use in my hometown.

The 3 months passed by quickly and she went home again.  As my parents had volunteered to host a language student, we were invited to visit her village in Greenland.  So, along with 4 other families in our community, we left for Greenland for a two weeks holiday.  As previously mentioned, this was in the early '80s, so Disneyland Paris was not an option and not many of my friends had been on an airplane.  I was as a result the coolest kid in my class - at least for two days.

I was around 8 years old and flying for the first time.  I don't really remember much of the 5 hour flight, and my parents are still refusing to talk about it.  Perhaps that's why my mum is still scared of flying.  To make me even more of a celebrity in my class, I also flew in a helicopter for the first time.  Unfortunately that experience caused me to be deaf for two days solid, because  I was sitting on the side of the engine. So, all I heard for two days was the engine!!

One thing to know about Greenland is that the sun shines almost 24 hours a day, well, at least 20 hours, which is brilliant for us kids and annoying for our parents.  The most amazing thing about Greenland was seeing the Northern Lights - the sky shimmering and full of colours.  It cannot be described well enough. It has to be seen first hand.

My dad packed the only thing he needed to pack, which was the handycam and the camera - both items top of the range back in the '70s.  Neither survived long into the '80s, but we still have the film from the cameras.  Brilliant to watch...and yet scary.

So, what was there to see in Greenland beside icebergs and mountains?  Not much really, but that wasn't the point either.  We stayed in something that looked like a giant wooden train, with bunkbeds.  It was absolutely hilarious to watch my slightly overweight dad, with a beerbelly, climbing up.  My mum was terrified that it would break. She was underneath him.  I shared a sofabed with my sister.

This was an educational trip, in many ways. It was a trip where we were to get to know Greenland and its culture.  Looking back at it, it was actually a really cool trip.

We were lucky to have a local guide, who drove us to all the sights that had been organised for us. He had a Volkswagen van; one of those with sliding doors.  On Greenland, when it rains and the snow melts, loads of water runs down to the sea, through the villages.  As a result, the council had been clever enough to build these gigantic ditches, which were 4-5 feet deep. The ditches were covered with a dark green algae during the summer.

One day, after arriving back to our wooden train house, I was very eager to get out of the van.  Agile as I was, being 8 years old, I jumped out of the van, completely forgetting about the ditches.  Without a sound, my well known ninja style, I slid down the ditch. I was instantly covered in the green algae.  My dad, who hadn't seen me disappear, started to shout for me. He was getting agitated because he couldn't find me and because I didn't answer.  Either way, he was getting slightly impatient.  Suddenly, he heard my faint cry and looked down the ditch. There he saw his favorite son (only son by the way) covered in green algae. He immediately jumped in to get me out.  He too slid in the slippery algae and landed on his butt.  Despite the embarrassing situation we found us in; two tourists sitting on our butts in an algae covered ditch,  we started to laugh.  My dad picked me up and he got me out - dripping green sticky algae from my white hair.

Other cool adventures from our time in Greenland occurred when we were being introduced to various local foods.  Some were more disgusting than others, but for some reason kids don't always mind trying these new culinary experiences. Perhaps it helps when your parents are very enthusiastic and force you to try these.  As a result, my sister and I tried following local snacks:
(It was an experience alright, and I would try them again.)

• Freshly caught whale skin, against all Greenpeace rules. It is fairly chewy and salty.  It reminds me a bit of mild licorice.
• Freshly caught fish eyes. It reminds me mostly of a grape, with the exception that when you chew it, it is very salty, it has no flavour and the  consistency is as snot.
• NOT freshly caught fish, but wind dried sardines (same style as the ones you can buy for your pet!), with bones and eyes . Darn little pieces get stuck between your teeth.

My parents bought special equipment for the trip, just like I would do today, to ensure that we would be able to survive in the wilderness.  So, my parents invested in two sleeping bags for us kids.  But, these were not standard sleeping bags, but surviver sleeping bags.  Apparently, you could sleep in freezing conditions, down to -50 degrees. We put it to the test one night.  We were sailing overnight to another local village with a local ferry. We kids slept outside in -20 C degrees.  It was probably more like -10, but for the sake of the story, it was freezing Antarctic conditions.  We survived 6 minutes and legged it back inside.  We were no fools.

The locals took us fishing one day in small little motorised boats.  The boats only had enough room for 7-8 people.  The water was calm, dark blue and the icebergs were huge.  If only 10% were over the water, then I would hate to see the remaining 90%.  We were close enough to see large ice pieces falling off the actual ice cap, which was frightening.  It didn't make it any better when the guide said that we weren't getting any life jackets because if we fell into the water we wouldn't survive for long!!  Still, we went out fishing and stayed out for several hours, catching enormous cod fish and sea cucumbers (disgusting looking creature).

My sister and I also adopted a sled dog.  Well, it turned out it was a wild dog, but we cared for it anyway. We named it dosebier (can beer in German).  What we didn't know was that wild dogs are shot and the shooter gets a reward.  So, our dog didn't live that long, but we loved it as long as we had it.

There are two things that I still clearly remember; one embarrasing and one scary - you choose which is which.  They both happened on the same day funnily enough.

We were out sightseeing in mother nature, probably 50-100 kilometers from the nearest residential area, walking in the mountains and the snow.  Suddenly I had to do number 2.  When you are a kid, it just happens and you got to go NOW.  My dad looked around for trees, but there are no trees on Greenland - at least not where we were.  He spotted a church and we ran towards it, hoping the priest would have mercy on me.  Running is probably exaggerated, as it is difficult to run while you are squezing your checks together, trying to avoid an accident. Keep in mind, we were a long way from being able to change clothes too.  Anyway, we made it to the church, but there was nobody there!  Resourceful as my dad is, he quickly ripped off my pants, exposing my arse to nature (and the freezing wind) and placed me on a bin outside the church.  It was metal, so my poor checks were bitten by the cold rim, but I was relieved.  All we needed now was paper!!!!

Later that same day, we were out sightseeing on the glacier, and the guide told us about the Bitches Ditch (glacier crevasse), which is where unfaithful women were dumped ages ago.  Basically, they fell 20 meters down an icy void, only to be greeted with freezing water.  No way to escape.  And, who had to film into the crevasse with the family's first camera - my dad!  He was lying on his belly, while filming the frozen death trap.  My mum and us kids were begging him to step away from the edge. If it hadn't been for my earlier church experience, I would have blinked with the brown eye all over the glacier.  My dad slid away from the edge, back to safety and smiled at us with a victorious sparkle in his eyes.

All in all, it was an amazing experience visiting Greenland, and I would love to go back with my own family.  I know it will be difficult to persuade them, given that there are no amusement parks or sidewalk cafes, but it is a wonderful place to go.

- just don't adopt a dog and stay away from the local fish market.

(BTW, the title means 'you have a small penis, and it will never get bigger)

Irish Vacation 5 - Northern Ireland - itinerary

This blog is fairly boring actually, as it only shows the Family Adventure plan for visiting Northern Ireland.


One piece of important and useful advice; make sure to bring your GPS or borrow one, just in case.  The roads are in good condition, but you will with no doubt come across a city or T-junction, where you have no idea where to go.

I can highly recommend the tourist web site for Northern Ireland.  It is excellent for finding attractions and places to go.  It has an interactive map of Northern Ireland, so you can browse each county.  Furthermore, is shows you the attractions on the interactive map, so you know exactly what and where to find.

Please note that some of these sites are fairly small, but are well signposted until you park in the visitors area.  Most sites cost a small amount to visit, £2-5, and kids under the age of 5 are mostly free.

We only spent 10-30 minutes at most sites, mainly because of the kids and also beacuse they we picture (Kodak) moments only.

Discover Northern Ireland

Day 1:

• Drive to Belfast
• To see in Belfast
• Hop on 'n Off bus sightseeing; excellent way to see Belfast
  
• Disney Shop; on the main shopping street
• City Hall; biggest building in the centre, and white
• St. George’s Market; walk towards the BT building, but check opening times first.

• Drive towards the coastal road A2, heading to Torr Head stopping by:
• Cave Hill; viewing point overlooking Belfast - only go there on a sunny day
• Carrickfergus Castle; sligtly North of Belfast, along the coast.  They have activities for the kids.
  

• Overnight stay at Cushendun - small coastal village

Day 2:

• Drive towards Ballycastle, on the A2 coastal road, stopping by:
• Torr Head; not much to see other than beautiful landscape
  
• Bonamargy Friary; somewhat hidden, but they have a white "Wee Cottage" at the entrance
  
• Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge; brilliant experience, but not for kids.  The bridge is a long walk (about 1km) from the main car park.

• Overnight stop at Bushtown Country Hotel, outskirts of Coleraine

Day 3:

• Use the hotel as base, and drive to see:
• Giant’s Causeway; amazing sight and easy to spend a couple of hours here. They have a bus from the visitor centre to the Causeway, which is well worth it.
• Old Bushmills Distillery; somewhat disappointed with Bushmill, mainly because of their fanatical display of Union Jack, and museum is only for whiskey lovers.
• Dunluce Castle; castle ruins
  
• Portrush Whiterocks Beach; wonderful view and great place for walks
  

• Overnight stop at Bushtown Country Hotel, outskirts of Coleraine

Day 4:

• Heading home, stopping by:
• Mussenden Temple and Downhill Demesne; Kodak moment only
• Giant's Ring (Beaghmore Stone Circles); miniature version of Stonehenge, on a lawn in the middle of nowhere.
  

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Towns and Villages to visit:

• Portstewart; coastal town on the North coast, nicer than Portrush
• Portrush; run down coastal town, primarily for caravan enthutiasts
  
• Armagh; not much to see other than the flags of ROI and UK
  
• Omagh; visit memorial of bombing victims in August 1998
  
• Londonderry; visit the city wall area and Bloody Sunday site
  
• Larne; dolphin and whale watching. again, only on clear / calm days
  
• Lisburn; not sure what to see
  
• Newry; border shopping
  

The Giant Family roadtrip (Irish Vacation 5)

It is the last weekend in August and we were preparing for the last of our long weekend adventures on the isle of Ireland, which obviously includes Northern Ireland - it might be hard for some hardcore unionists to believe, but we do live on the same island.  Our daughter starts back in school on Monday, so we need to get some more traveling done before the normal routines takes over again.  And, so she has some cool fresh stories to tell her mates.  Not too sure how cool it is for a 5 year old to spend her holidays in a car seeing attractions and historical sights, but it might just be a bit of fun.

The journey was carefully organised by yours truly, so you can imagine how the family event and holiday manager (my wife) felt when I took over the planning.  This was like invading an unknown territory for me, and worse, invading her sacred territory.  One thing is to take the last toilet paper or forgetting to put the seat down after number 1, but to creep in on her space, is against all odds - you are on your own mate.  Anyway, I ventured where no husband had or would have gone before, and survived, and planned the trip, hoping deep inside that I could outdo her last holiday to Costa Rica - piece of cake!?!
-I'll publish a blog about the itinerary.

So, here's the agenda to plan the perfect holiday:

1. Put as many attractions on the itinerary as possible
2. Plan the route to be somewhat logical and not zigzag across the country
3. Add some fun stuff on the route for the kids
4. Find places to stay - cheap, nice and near your planned route
5. Create an awesome travel booklet of sights to see, with important details for e.g. hotel, directions, etc.
   
6. Bring enough hard currency to survive 48 hours in the wilderness
7. Pack the parent survival trailer with snacks, DVDs and drinks for the car journey
8. Clean the car
9. Clean yourself!

...how difficult could it be, for a professional project planner and organiser as me?  Blimey, I've organised large exhibitions, erected a fullsize cornershop, rolled out corporate applications and managed a youth club for 47 kids.  I'm a man, I can do this, right?

However, one important thing to remember...
...DO NOT TOILET TRAIN YOUR SON WHEN GOING ON A ROADTRIP!

As usual, the car was packed the evening before, so all we had to do was to clean the house.  We always do this and I actually don't know why.  It seems to be the weirdest thing in the World to do, as nobody is going to be in the house while we are gone.  I can understand to remember flushing the toilets and empty the bins so it doesn't smell, but clean and vacuum the entire house.  Is it because the house should look nice in case we get unwanted visits from a burglar or TV repair guy?

We started early (ish) in the morning and dropped the dogs off with our German hundelieber.  He was his normal cheerful and charming dog whisper self, not caring about human beings at all, and more focused on how Angel is doing.  Next stop Belfast - roadtrip!!!

As soon as we arrived in Belfast, we searched for a place to eat.  It seems to be the first thing on parents mind to avoid unnecesary hassle, so we went to the famous pub "The Crown".  As the name would suggest, it used to be a unionist pub.  I will explain the history of Northern Ireland in another blog.
After lunch we wanted to do something for the kids, and dragged them to the Disney store - we do love our kids, despite how this might look.  They were absolutely delighted with their new pyjamases.

Belfast is a lovely town and it is easy to walk around to see all the sights.  In fact most of the sights are gathered around City Hall or within 10 minutes walking distance.  We saw the rest of the sights from the car, while leaving in a cloud of dust, heading towards motorway A2 towards Torr Head.  At this point, shortly after lunch, it started to rain / drizzle, which faithfully continued for the next 4 days.  How do you think the isle got its nickname Emerald Isle?

We left the hectic "metropolis" behind us and headed towards the unknown, a small town called Cushendun.  I have absolutely no idea to pronounce it, so I must have sounded like a complete idiot when I asked for directions or told people where we were headed.  That goes for most of the areas we visited in Northern Ireland, I didn't (and still don't) know how to pronounce these fecking words; Cushendun, Cushendall, Larne, Broughshane, Donaghadee - a UK dictionary doesn't even know how to spell these words.  How are use meant to get proper directions, when you have to guess the pronouncation and deal with the lovely Northern Irish accent?  Why can't they just call it something with "Kill" like the Irish do most of their towns - yet another blog I guess.

We were meant to go to Carrickfergus, but because of the rain, we decided that an outdoor activity wouldn't be ideal.  My wife had suggested bow and arrow for the kids, but I just wouldn't feel too comfortable standing next to my kids with a slippery lethal weapons.  The arrow might just "slip" and hit daddy's arse.

So, next stop was Larne on the coast, to watch dolphins and whales.  I was actually pretty excited about this, but the balloon was quickly deflated as we approached the coast.  Visibility was less than 5 meters and it was still raining.  The only way we would see a whale was if we were hit or swallowed by one, which I'm sure my daughter's school principal wouldn't accept as an excuse to miss first day back.

We continued North along the coast on the A2.  The scenery was stunning, even in the rain.  We (I) managed to get out to take photos and they turned out fairly well, despite having to cover the lens with a see-through plastic bag.  My wife was acting as the National Geographic photographer and developed a brilliant method of taking wildlife and scenery pictures, by not leaving the car, simply by rolling down the windows or sticking the camera out of the sunroof.  We have some amazing close-up pictures of the roof rail, so now I know where the car machine wash / brushes doesn't reach - thanks sweetie!

20 miles from Cushendun, where we were staying the first night, we discovered that the well organised husband had forgotten the beautifully created and printed travel booklet in the house, containing all the sights and contact details for our adventures, including B&B + Hotel directions and contact details.  At that moment, my left shoulder received more dummy hits than ever before, leaving my arm useless for approx. 36 minutes - it's a fun thing my wife and I have, where we hit each other gently, when we've done something stupid.  But, there was nothing friendly about these punches today.  My wife had to call her mum and persuade her to go to our house (politely asking the TV repair man to vacate the house) and talk her through how to email it to me.  Yes, a totally redeemed myself by pulling out the Mac Air from the boot of the car and a 3G broadband connection.  This sound a lot easier than it was, and believe, I could see my wife's frantic eyes as she explained the simple steps to her mum, in Spanish - I don't speak Spanish, but somehow I understood every word my wife said, through her teeth, controlling her South American spirit.
- We got the directions, thanks Aubuela (grandma in Spanish - I hope)

As we approached the B&B a strong smell of human faeces spread in the car, a silent killer.  Again, my son managed to carry out a well planned sneak attacj and had relaxed his bowel, just as we were passed the city limits of Cushendun.  Remember, we were toilet training our son, which includes NOT wearing a diaper.  The last 2 miles to the B&B were painfully long.

It was a lovely B&B and the owner was a very friendly elderly womanr.  We VERY quickly checked in and the family barely met the owner, as we ran up the stairs to quickly clean our son in the shower.  My first duty was to clean the car seat, in pissing rain.  Thereafter, we went to the village for dinner.

Cushendun is a small coastal village, with probably 200 residents and one pub.  We had a simple, but nice dinner, and my daughter spilled her 7up on my pants as we sat down - the only pair of pants that I naively brought.

One thing we discovered throughout the entire stay in Northern Ireland was that eating out was so much cheaper than in Ireland; dinner, desserts and drinks for less than £35.

Nothing to see in Cushendun, so we continued North on the A2 coastal route towards Torr Head.  Thank God for our GPS.  We found Torr Head and all the other sights we wanted to see on the journey, despite having a few arguments with the GPS lady when taking a turn too early.

The next couple of days we stayed in a small country hotel in Coleraine, using it as a base.  One thing that surprised us was that Northern Ireland is so small and by day 2 we had seen most of the sights on the list.  Everything seemed to be within 10-15 miles of each other, so we simply took eash sight as they appeared on the map (GPS).

They extra added bonus was that the hotel in Coleraine had a swimming-pool, which we could use freely, to the amusement and delight of our kids.  We spent all Friday afternoon floating in the pool.  And, to my pleasure I discovered the hotel's sauna and wanted to show my kids these Scandinavian traditions.  So, we ventured in and sat down on the warm wooden benches.  I think the nice warm air made my son relax as he, shortly after entering, peed on the floor - time to leave.

Next stop, Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge which is, according to my wife's research on the Net, one of the most dangerous rope bridges in the World.  My wife developed a fear of heights during our first visit to Mexico, so now she checks all attractions on the Web, prior to going there.  And, she will try to persuade me not to try these things or what safety clothes to wear.  Despite my wife's warnings, I walked the bridge and it was not a pleasant experience.  Keep in mind, it was windy and rainy, so I had to kneel down slightly to be shorter and not feel the bridge swaying so much - my wife has the perfect height for this challenge.
My family stood on safe ground, in the rain and wind, watching me cross this hurdle.  You have to put on a brave face when your kids are watching, but the rain hid the sweat of fear well.  Not only did you have to cross it to get to the island, but there is only one way across, so I had to return the same way.  I have proof.

After that adrenalin rush, we visited the Giant's Causeway, which is an true eye-opener.  The shapes of the rocks really make you wonder how these were made; some say cooling lava and other people say a giant made these.  I believe the latter of course.  You can't explain the sight to anybody, you simply have to go there yourself.
My daughter developed a new fearless skill while visiting the Giant's Causeway - climbing - to the horror and fear of my wife.  You can imagine how my wife reacted when my daughter and I climbed up one of the cliffs to look over the edge.  Needless to say, she nearly passed out while filming.  She managed to get all the visitors to stop and be quiet, as she screamed "NOOOOOOOOO" to us, to stop us moving further up.  I think all visitors thought they had done something wrong too, and some started to run back towards the visitor centre for cover.

Beside those two amazing sights, we saw a lot of nice castles (ruins) and beautiful landscape.  We did go to Portrush to visit the famous Barry's Entertainment, but walking in a fun-fair in pissing rain is not my idea of fun.

What else did we see?  Bushmills Distillery, Derry (or should I say Londonderry), Omagh, Armagh, Newry, Belfast, Ballycastle, Downhill and of course the ring-roads around Coleraine.  Not much to say about these towns, other than Derry was probably the nicest of these towns, once you found the old city wall.  Other than that, they look similar to Irish towns.
One of the more off the beaten track sights is the Beaghmore Stone Circles.  I though that this would be an Irish version of Stonehenge, based on the pictures on the web, bit this is were having a great camera can twist reality slightly.  We drove 7 miles on tiny country roads, barely visible on the GPS screen and arrived at the desitnation (according to the GPS).  All we saw was a couple of grass fields, but then I spotted a pile of rocks.  We entered the field and were welcomed by a small sign explaining the site and saw 7 tiny stone circles.  The entire site was probably half the size of a football field.  But, at least we can say we've seen it.  :-)

What amazed and worried us, was the amount of unionist dominated towns in Northern Ireland still dislaying their support to the Union Jack, by painting every possible thing red, blue and white.  I've seen this in Belfast, but didn't expect so far North of Belfast.   Painting the sidewalks, lamp posts, walls, etc. is something that kids would do, but this had clearly been organised by adults.  Also, it must cost a fortune in paint, but at the same time, it keeps the local paintshop in business.  Why somebody would go to such an extreme is beyond me and also somewhat scary.  Imagine how we felt, when stopping for a red light, with our Irish license plates.  We absolutely had to take pictures of this and this was done quickly - so, most of these pictures are slightly blurry.  If you read this paragraph and get offended by my ignorance, then please explain it to me.

As we headed back towards Ireland on our last day, we had planned to get pub food.  But, to our amazement, most pubs are closed on Sundays in Northern Ireland, or VERY difficult to find.  Not too sure why.  We went through small villages, off the beaten track, through large towns and country roads, but didn't spot a pub that server carvery food.  We actually made it all the way back to Dublin and had dinner 2 miles from our house, in Pizza Hut.

Man, the kids were delighted to back in the house and so were we.  My daughter told us she had loads of fun in the swimming-pool, but the rest was pretty boring - well, she did enjoy the rock climbing and watching movies in the car. Our son was delighted with his newly washed car seat and the movies too.

Of the 9 point agenda I sat out to complete, my wife did most things, except cleaning me (damn!).  I forgot the printed itinerary, which was a joy for my wife as she got to punch me and a pain as she had to provide tech support for her mum.  We, the adults, probably enjoyed the sights and trip more than the kids.  But, it was very nice spending time with the family, just the 4 of us in a car, for 4 days.  What could possible go wrong?   :-)

Would we recommend visiting Northern Ireland and go back?  Absolutely.

Piece of cake, traveling with kids!

Who said it was difficult and challenging to travel with kids, especially travelling with kids less than 2 years old - and two of them?

Well, we’ve been on several short and long haul flights with our kids across Europe and the Atlantic to visit the Caribbean).  They have behaved really well 99% of the time.  It's the last 1% that can be tricky and that everybody is giving out about.  The moment when everything is completely out of control.

As a parent, you of course dread the moment you step onto the plane.  Deep inside you fear that something odd will happen that results in an outright and devastating disaster such as uncontrollable screaming and a fierce attack of smelly pooh.  The despair and fear is equally present in the faces of your fellow passengers.  Reading their mind would scare most kids, and some adults, into depression.

You have witnessed how some kids can behave on journeys, other kids of course.  But most of the time, their parents let them crawl on the seats, play with noisy toys or run around like small versions of William Wallace - screaming "Freeeeeedom!"  Other times, kids just want to make the most of the journey, testing their parents' resolve and sanity, doing stuff they would never do at home.  But, the worst case scenario is something far more deadly and invisible - smelly pooh, vomit, sudden emotional outburst and high pitch screams.  Screams so loud that even the pilot appears, fearing that some electrical circuits will be damaged or windows pop.

The first thought you have when sitting down in you designated stamp sized seat, while trying to hold your child and luggage, is "Will the kids behave again?"

There's always a doubt at the back in your mind, and even when you look at your offspring's eyes and their excited smile, you know anything is possible with these tiny buggers.

The worst thing you can do is to make a fuss of it or remind them to behave, which I normally do, as this just triggers a natural defence mechanism, wanting them to revolt against orders.  If you start pushing them around, hassling them or anticipate trouble, then it will come - that's the way it works with kids.  I was exactly like that as a kid.  Just ask my parents.

We had an incident flying home from the Dominican Republic.  These long haul flights are normally night flights and the plane takes off around 21.30 (ish).  There had been problems during check-in, which is another blog, and it made me very anxious.  Our kids were getting tired, which is good and bad.  We were the last people on the plane, ran to our seats and tried to smile calmly to the other passengers, assuring them that everything would be fine.

The first hour of the flight was the worst of my life.

• Our son tired and hungry = not a great combination
• Our daughter exhausted = less favourable, and not too violent outbursts

Within minutes of take-off, both kids were crying - no, let me rephrase - screaming their lungs out.  My left eyebrow started to twitch nervously and I wrongly attempted to force them to sit still in their seats during take-off.  I often use a trick taught to me by my father, which is speaking angrily through my teeth, only moving the lips, and having angry eyes.  My son was actually sitting in a cot bed attached to the wall and didn't have any reason to complain - I thought.  They both wanted to be with mummy.

It took some excellent parenting skills from my wife to calm them down, and then they slept the rest of the flight.  Brilliant!  My wife has some amazing powers that only women possess.  They don't care about the noise level or other people's stares, and simply gets down to business of relaxing the kids.  This normally takes anywhere from 5 - 55 minutes.

Other locations for minor tantrums or scenes are:

• By plane, train or bus; my greatest phobia is changing diapers in small confined spaces, e.g. airplane toilets.  The smell travels so damn fast, especially through air condition systems, and can trigger bio-hazard alarms to go off and they this is to the annoyance of fellow travellers.
• By car; when you are the driver and you can do nothing about the noise level.  You can feel the blood pressure increase by the second.  The only option is to pull over and take a breather.  Read this blog for an example.
• By car; a toilet is urgently needed, so you are forced to stop at the side of the road (doesn't matter if this is the busiest motorway in Europe) and hold your child in an awkward position while they do their business.  You will with 99.99% certainty get pee on your shoes, pants, child's pants + underwear and the car – probably all of them.
• By bus; where your child needs to go to the toilet NOW and the toilet on the bus is either none existing or faulty.   Do you pee on the floor?
• By boat; again, your daughter desperately has to pee.  The only option is to let her pee on the floor of the boat - it's full of water anyway.

Travelling by train is actually easy.  You can quickly get to the toilet, plenty to see and you would have packed a survival lunch bag/box.  There's no need for kids to be strapped in, so they can be entertained.

Something that has worked very well for my wife and I, is to bringing loads toys.  These could easily be toys bought in EuroSaver shops, as long as they have something new to play with.  It is only when the kids get older that they demand PS3/DS games or and iPod.

For long or short journeys by car, I can highly recommend a portable DVD player and a few hundred DVDs.

Bring plenty of snacks and drinks, and of course changing clothes if you should have a small accident.

Enjoy your next holiday - I know I will.

In fairness, our kids are actually very good travellers and rarely cause unnecessary trouble for us.  They read their books, play with toys or watch a movie.  Lately, my daughter has started to sing for us while we are driving, but I’m for some reason not allowed to join in or sing solo.  Imagine if somebody her me!

My wife is fantastic with the kids and really knows how to calm them.  One of her methods involves putting on loud music in the car, so nobody can hear anything or simply just listen to her iPod.  Seriously, she has some magic that only she knows and she refuses to teach me.  I’m sure she will teach our daughter the same magic one day.

Again, thanks to my wonderful wife, we can travel in total calmness.

Irish Vacation 4 - Kilkenny

So, we are almost at the end of the school summer vacation and we are planning the last few weekend trips with the kids. It's not that it is difficult to find stuff to do around Dublin, but it is somewhat difficult to find something that interests the kids.

We were meant to go visit a farm, petting all the smelly animals and stepping in all kinds of pooh, but that didn't happen due to "Project Total Makeover" (see blog). For that reason, we decided to do a short trip to Kilkenny - only 1.5 hours drive each way, not bad.

This time, the dogs stayed in the house and Snowflake was in the kennel due to Angel's incident last weekend, and also to save some hard earned cash - which my wife spent on "Project Total Makeover".

The usual bags were packed with snacks, diapers, drinks, butt wipes, changing clothes, DVDs, and of course rain gear. Kids locked into their seats during take-off, wife with her cool shades in the passenger seat (my co-pilot), GPS enabled and of course the iPhone connected for music.

We left around 10ish (at least that was the plan), but didn't hit the N7 until 11.30ish. So, first stop would be Carlow to get lunch. You would remember, from previous blogs, that my son needs his food around 12.30 (+/- 4 minutes on either side) or we the parents will experience a new apocalypse in the car.

We spotted a nice traditional family restaurant outside Carlow and pulled in. Traditional Irish pub was what we were looking for, and which we got. My god, my son was liking his plate approx. 7 minutes after being served, and I was still cutting my meat - he sometimes scares me, with the amount and speed he eats. The food was fantastic and good value for money. Food for 4, incl. drinks, less than €50.

Off to Kilkenny, which is only 30-40 minutes drive from Carlow. You know you are in the countryside, when the smell of cow shit hits your nostrils like a shovel in the face. You are finding it hard to breathe, until you remember not to use your nose. Pretty dangerous if you are the driver, but I didn't pass out.

Upon arriving in Kilkenny, I had to wake up my wife. She managed to fall asleep 5km outside Kilkenny! The car was parked at the local Dunnes Store shopping centre and we made our way to the main street - after the entire family had to go to the toilets, as you have to with kids.

Kilkenny is a very nice little town. The streets are narrow and there are plenty of shops. It is so much nicer than Galway. It surprised me in a positive way. We spent the nice 3 hours in Kilkenny, seeing everything that could be seen while walking and headed back to Dunnes Store's toilets before leaving Kilkenny.

Before telling about the return trip, I need to tell a short story about my dad. He always had a short fuse, especially when driving with us kids. The slightest noise, kicking or argument and he would go off. He is adamant that it was because he couldn't concentrate. Once he even stopped the car, took my toy and flung it out the window, then he continued the journey.

I now know what he went through.

We had barely left Kilkenny, before my daughter started to scream. A small brown butterfly had invaded her personal space and was sitting looking at her on her window. I twisted my arm around and managed to kill the poor thing. My son was at the same time trying to pull his DVD cable out, to the frustration of my wife.

Then the DVD started to skip. My daughter didn't mind, but with the sound blaring into my ears, while skipping, made me twitch the left eye.

Then the evil twin, of the brown butterfly emerged. My daughter screamed again, "Dad, KILL IT!". The DVD still blazing (and skipping), and my son was starting to wind up too, as he was thirsty.
- the 2nd butterfly apparently died, just like that, by itself!

All this within 20 minutes of leaving Kilkenny.

I was so tempted to rip off the DVD player and throw it out the window, but the movie were "watching" was a rental. Would be pretty difficult to explain to the rental store. So, I pulled out the power instead, which my daughter did NOT appreciate.

My wife put on the kids' favorite music, and that calmed things down a bit. However, I could have a conversation with my wife, as the volume was at 50 (55 is max), but they like it she said!

We made it home in one piece again, and despite World War 7 in the car home, we had a very nice trip to Kilkenny.

"Project Total Makeover"

Another of the "cost saving" events that has taken place in our small household this summer, instead of going to Florida for two weeks, has been a house makeover project. The project was perfectly timed with IKEA's opening in Dublin and not to mention the perfect DIY (indoor) weather in Ireland; windy and rainy.

"Project Total Makeover" is another of these family planned projects, to engage and gather the family, doing something together other than watching movies. We got close alright!

The changes and updates to the interior of the house are meant to create happiness and make the environment much more feng shui - which it did. However, at what cost? I personally have patience like the Tasmanian Devil and I like to do things a certain way - often the opposite to my wife or kids. This in itself causes some minor pillow fights, throwing of stuffed (and live) animals and a few tantrums or hissy fits. The latter mainly caused by me.

Our experience of IKEA has already been explored in previous blogs, so I'm not going into that trauma again - it's not good, according to my psychiatrist. Below are some of the activities we did during the summer, as a family; wife and kids looking at daddy loosing 20lbs working. :-)

- in fairness, my wife has a fantastic eye for detail and can easily tell me if I missed a spot. My son is brilliant at re-organising/demolishing anything and my daughter sings while I'm sweating. What more can a husband/father ask for?

Tiles 'R Us; the bathroom had, since the extension was done, been looking awful, with bare plasterboards and grouting all over. I had on several occasions offered to tile the bathroom, but my wife lacked evidence and trust in my tiling abilities. However, she did permit me to buy the tiles and get somebody else to do the job. End result, we have a beautiful shitter under the stairs.

Our House; so many things need to be done to the house, minor things, that we've postponed. Adding them up and getting them done just gives me bumps and makes me itch. I have many Microsoft Excel spreadsheets on my Mac, where we have tried to list them all. We really need to get something done about this list. Perhaps I could use Mac Numbers instead?

The Fields of Barley; or should I say, our not landscaped garden. Actually, it has been shaped so well by Mother Nature that we can't find the kids' swing. One of the dogs went missing in the garden last month, for two days! So, my wife persuaded me to get petrol for the lawnmower and run out between rain showers to cut the grass. I was amazed with the stuff I found. It was something out of Jurassic Park (Costa Rica memories), and don't step into the tall grass as that means the dogs have fertilised the soil there! I'm certain I discovered unknown plants, before they felt the pain of my lawnmower, and some new insects. At one point, standing in the back, I thought I was lost too, but then I discovered my homemade fence and followed it to the house. Ray Mears or Bear Gills, can you survive 48 hours in my garden?

Fruit of the Loom; this was a pure family (kids) project. I build a small vegetable garden with my daughter and the kids could choose the stuff to put in it, i.e. vegetables. We went to the garden centre, where my daughter quickly picked 11 flowers, different shades of pink, and new boots. The garden centre didn't have any vegetables, other than leeks and Brussels sprouts - so be it. Now we have a beautiful vegetable/flower/weed bed, and have absolutely no idea when we can eat the Brussels sprouts. The joys of being DIY gardener.

The Learning and Breathing Room; for my wife and I have worked on the kids rooms. We (my wife) have painted characters on the walls and wardrobes, replaced the floor, installed blinds. Another plan, for the past year, has been to give them each their room. IKEA is sneaking back into the picture. So, we bought the furniture and I assembled it, with my eagle eye wife and commanding daughter - while my son was throwing screws down the stairs! The result is that my daughter has a gorgeous HC Andersen bed, nightstand, office desk (still in the box) and a shelving unit (still in IKEA) in her room, alongside our son's bed. His room is not ready yet. BUT, it will be this weekend, I swear.

...and we did finish the room as promised.

Da Vinci master piece; my proud moment was building a fence from scratch, and it is still standing. The fence was meant to keep the dog pooh in one area, with the dogs, so the kids could roam freely in the garden. A mate of mine volunteered to help, so while the kids and wives were inside, we put on the gloves, goggles, tool belt and grabbed the saw. Two MBA graduates building a fence, how hard could it be. We carefully measured, dug holes for the poles, cut boards and drilled in screws. I don't know who were more surprised or amazed, our wives or us. Time to test it. We let the dogs out into their new dog run and they instantly started to chew their way through the fence....aaaaarrrrrggghhhh! Oh well, it was fun building it and I still find the odd splinter in my fingers.

We have had a very productive summer, as you can see, and it has been worthwhile, not doubt. I really enjoyed spending time with my family and friends, and would rather do gardening than go to Florida!!

Was it cost effective. Of course not. We've spend a fair bit of money on getting the house in order, but the house is so much nicer now. We can actually use the garden again and have friends over for BBQ as well. It was a nice feeling spending money on your own place rather than spending it on drinks, food and activities in an exotic location. Overall, we didn't spend as much money as we did on our holidays abroad, which is good.

Irish Vacation 3 - Cliffs of Moher

The time has come to be more adventures, and leave the safety of Dublin behind - or should I say "Get the hell out of Dodge!", as it is probably safer to be standing with an umbrella in a field, during a thunder storm, than walk around Dublin north inner city.

This time, even the dogs were going on holidays, so we had booked them in with our German kennel trooper for two days (1 night). The dogs love going there and getting plenty of exercise and get to play wild with the wolves.

So, early to bed Friday evening, car ready and all the stuff is packed for two days on the road. Pretty ambitious, but we only live once - yes I know, James Bond lives twice!

Alarm clock set, see you in the morning.

We were surprisingly up on time, before the alarm clock had a chance to ring, and got going. The kids had their breakfast, car loaded and dogs squeezed into the boot.

We had to drop the dogs off between 8 and 9 in the morning, I thought, but it was in fact between 9 and 10. So, we were early for a change. Tanked the car, had a breakfast roll and bought the paper. Then we dropped the dogs off and programmed the famous GPS to its next destination; Birr.

On the way to Birr, we stopped at Kinnitty Castlem and OH MY GOD, what a dump. Not worth writing about - don't go there!

Birr, is in my humble honest opinion a boring tourist location. I know I've just managed to offend an entire county, but there's NOTHING to see or do. We spend more than 30 minutes trying to find a pub to have lunch in, in the main street, and ended up having lunch in a cafe.

Next stop was punched into the GPS; Dromoland Castle. My wife had this fetish for years, to visit Dromoland Castle for afternoon tea, so we did - I'm a man, so I'll do my best to please my woman or at least make an effort to get some brownie points. It's an amazing castle, and the afternoon tea was great; excellent atmosphere and friendly staff. Evenen better, only €45 for tea and scones!!

We then headed for Corofin, which resembles coffin, where we had booked a B&B. The GPS took us the back roads, some roads were the same size as a footpath. It was a different experience. We saw things you normally wouldn't see on the main roads - and some things that were better left unseen.

There's nothing like a roadside stop, to help your daughter to pee, 30 km from the nearest toilet. And, it is VERY difficult to control the flow of pie from a girl. This unfortunately resulted in my daughter peeing on her pants, my fault I admit, so thankfully we had an extra pair of pants. Quick change and on the road again.

Corofin is actually a lovely little village, or rather a gathering of houses, and we stayed the night in a B&B. Apparently, according to the B&B landlady, the place really starts rocking after 21.00 - too bad the kids were in bed? We had dinner in a lovely pub in Corofin, and headed back to the B&B for an early night.

The room temperature was approx. 35 degrees (Celsius) and it was impossible to turn off the heaters. So, as you can imagine, we didn't sleep well - the kids did, and they woke early as usual, singing and playing at 06.30.

- brilliant breakfast by the way, good Irish full breakfast.

Next morning we headed towards the main attraction, the Cliffs of Moher. I asked the B&B landlady, how far it was, and she said 20 minutes. Then I asked how far to the Dormen, and it was also 20 minutes. Something wasn't right here. Should I ask her how far it is to Dublin?

The drive to Cliffs of Moher was easy and well signposted. It took us almost 40 minutes to get there - surprise. We parked the family Hummer and walked towards the Cliffs. Jaysus, these cliffs are huge. It looks like a giant seamonster took a huge bite of the coast. Breathtaking views, but beside the cliffs there is nothing to see. The viewpoints were well protected with fences, but you could still get right to the edge, if you walked a few miles along the cliffs' edge. My wife almost fainted by the thought and had some twitches when I took my daugther up in the view tower, to the roof, to see better.

We spent about an hour at the cliffs and then we headed for the hotspot Doolin. From Doolin you can go to the Arann Islands, and that's the only thing you can do in Doolin. We drove all the way to the port in Dublin and went straight back out. It didn't take long to visit Doolin.

We had to head towards Dublin again, as we had to collect the dogs before 18.00, otherwise the German kennel trooper would send us away again and charge us for another day - these Germans have great processes.

Talking about great views. You have to drive through the Burren in Co. Clare. It is stunning. I have never seen anything like it, and probably wont, but I'm so happy we brought the camera. The landscape is like a fairy tale.

As we left Co. Clare, the rain started to come down in sheets. My wife panics when I don't use the windshield wipers, even if I can count the drops on my hands. The slightest speck of water and I have to turn them on. So, I had the wipers on, on dry windows, which creates a very annoying sound and makes the wipers jump on the surface. That last for about 30 seconds.

We had loads of fun, even if we spent most of the time in the car. Even the kids had fun. However, it wasn't that funny when my son left something in his diaper that resembled toxic waste. It is amazing how such a small thing can be shared so quickly, in regards to the smell. What was worse, we had to change him at the roadside and drive with the diaper in the car, until we found a bin. The windows were all foggy on the inside, and we were getting dizzy.

- couldn't open the windows due to the rain!

As Dublin approached in the horizon (Bono, there actually is a line in the horizon), we knew we were almost home.  As we passed our exit, exhausted, we had to go another 40 minutes to pick up the dogs. On the way home we stopped at the local chipper, McDonalds, to get some nutricious food. A burp and a fart, and you are hungry again.

The trip was almost 800 km, but worth it. Well, my wife had a thing or two to tell me and the kids, after not having slept well in the B&B - things I will not utter in public. But, after a group hug and mummy tickle attack, she was laughing again. My bruises, a lovely present from my wife during the tickle attack, will eventually disappear - I hope.

Go and see the backroads of Ireland, visit some of the castles (not Kinnitty) and see the mighty Cliffs of Moher.

Irish Vacation 2 - Newgrange + Slane

As per my previous blog, we decided to stay in Ireland this year, seeing some of the sigths and beautiful country side, instead of cruising off to far away bounty beaches, mojitos and sun.

- Well, the bank man probably would agree with another overdraft on the MasterCard anyway.

Day: Sunday 26th of July
Temperature: shite weather, with a high probability of rain
Sun: haven't seen that fecker for a few days now

Saddle up, the first leg of the Family Vacation (Danish, Chilean/Irish edition) has been kicked off. I always loved the Griswald movies with Chevy Chase, travelling across the US.

We were heading towards the Irish version of the Great Pyramid of Gaza, to be more precise, Newgrange. In fact, Newgrange was built 500 years before the pyramids, but it's not like the Irish to brag?!

The car was packed with the bare essentials, for a one-day trip to North of Dublin, so rain gear, diapers, long-sleeved shirts, hats and comfortable working shoes/boots. The location of Newgrange was punched into the GPS and we started the journey - totally relying on an American designed device and based on somewhat accurate maps of Ireland.

It took us less than an hour to get to Newgrange, despite the GPS trying to direct down suspicious country lanes, which would fit a car and a horse passing each other. So, we followed the road signs most of the way and amused ourselves every time the GPS female voice said "recalculating route". The kids didn't even get time to give out, so all in all, it was a painless out journey.

We arrived at Newgrange just before lunch and went straight to the visitor centre. For out-of-towners, you can only visit the site by purchasing a ticket in the visitor centre, which only costs €6 per adult and our kids were free -excellent.
IT was quickly decide that, based on the time and our experience with our son, to get something to eat. IT would be too painful for our fellow explorers, to see our son eat parts of the bus and rip out my eyeballs, all because he was hungry.

My god, this is where Newgrange makes its money. We had, what we thought, a light lunch. Keep in mind; this is a tourist attraction restaurant, so not exactly Michelin stars. Sit back; take a deep breath...
...a few cents less than €70 for the food!!!! - 2 portions of lasagne, 1 baked potato, one slice of bread with Salmon, 2 juices, a tea and a coffee. So glad I didn't go wild and ordered a Latte.

Anyway, after our lavish lunch, we headed towards the bus, which takes tourists from the visitor centre to the Newgrange site. It said a few minutes, but in all reality it was more like a mile+ to the bus - but, the weather was nice, so it didn't matter, and the scenery is beautiful.

The bus driver, a retired Dublin bus driver, quickly asserted himself as the Man and drove 70-80 km/hour down the narrow country lanes (see above for details), heading towards the site. 24 seconds later, we arrived at the location, all with slight concussions and tears running down the face from the fear of dying.

We saw the Newgrange, and this was an amazing site. It sounds really boring, as it is "only" a bump on a field, but it was actually amazing. How did they build such a feature 6000 years ago? The tour guide was very good and brought out several laughs, even from the American tourists who might not fully understand the Irish humour.
He took us inside the sacred bump, which was probably a bit weird, as it was only 20 meters in and then a few alcoves with carved symbols. He turned off the light to simulate the sun hitting the front on the shortest days of the year, which was cool.
That was it, the tour over, sight seen and back to the car! But, we had to venture on the bus again, back to the visitor centre.

It was in all fairness a nice sight, and well worth seeing.

We jumped in the car and headed towards Slane Castle. Again, the GPS lady guided us to Slane village, but we could for the love of God find the bloody entrance to the Castle. It was my wife who spotted it, as we were going 80 km/hour around a bend. James Bond kicked into my veins and I flung the old SUV around and in through the gate. So far so good - but that wasn't going to last.

Slane Castle was imprinted in our brains as this fantastic castle, place in stunning surroundings. But, that was when we saw U2 at Slane in 2001 - slightly intoxicated and in a happy place back then! Anyway, this was VERY disappointing. Nothing to see or do. Well, you could attend a tour of the castle, but nothing else. Even the Castle Park was boring and run down. In fact, the entire place was poorly kept. Not recommended.

On the way back through Slane village, we stopped at the Mills Restaurant. This was located behind, its coming, the mill. You wouldn't normally go down that road, as it was something out of the horror movie the Hostel, but behind the Eastern European factory buildings, was this little restaurant. There we had scones, tea and ice cream. The staff was very friendly and service in top class. They said kids would be their customers in a few years, so they'd better treat them nicely, which they certainly did. So, thanks for a wonderful afternoon tea and scones atmosphere.

Time to head back home to the dogs. Kids were wrecked (yahoo), so they fell asleep quickly. My wife and I had a light dinner, and relaxed in front of the TV with a movie.

Irish Vacation 1 - Horseback riding

Mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find my daughter something to do while all her friends are off on their cool holidays to e.g. Disney World, Italy, Spain, Limerick, etc.

My wife and I have agreed that we are not doing something over the top this year, which we both hate to admit. Bloody hell, wouldn't you rather be somewhere where the sun is shining, jump into a nice pool and get a few mojito's while the kids are enjoying themselves?

- sorry got carried away!

My wife had this brilliant idea that our daughter could try horseback riding. Sounds like a great idea and how many of her mates can say they've been riding horses on their summer break.

So, we searched the internet, as you do nowadays, and found not only a riding school, but an equestrian centre - how posh is that?

Before we were going to put our daughter on a Black Beauty 8' tall horse, we decided to inspect the premises. Firstly, what was meant to be a 20 minutes drive, ended up being an hour adventure trying to find the bloody place. The scary bit is, the equestrian centre is located in a town called Kill!!! Not a good sign for a family friendly activity.

Anyway, we finally found the place and took an un-guided tour of the centre. Fairly impressive I must admit, so we signed her up for an hour.

€20 gets you about 40 minutes worth of riding, if you are a child. Seems fair enough and you can even borrow a helmet there. But, true to our shopping spirit, this became a bit more expensive than we signed up to.

The first lesson went really well and our daughter loved it. No, she didn't love it, she thought it was absolutely amazing, fantastic and had a high school musical happy experience. She absolutely wanted to go again.

So, my wife decided to get her some boots, which was a good idea. We found a local horse riding equipment shop in the outskirts of Kill, and this is were it went wrong.

Never let your daughter who loves horses and your wife who loves to get the right gear for the kids, loose in such a shop - bad combination. My son and I were slightly lost in the wilderness of equipment and went around to explore.

It is amazing the amount of stuff your daughter and wife can find and buy in less than 20 minutes. €150 later, we had bought all the stuff she needed - she was dressed as a pro. We even got a birthday card for our niece!

- I just hope the interest will last for a few months, to get some return of investment (ROI) on the goods we acquired.

It has now been 6 weeks and our daughter has been riding at least once a week, and she still loves it. My wife and I switch every second time, so we both can see her advance her riding skills and see our little Jessie Cow-girl giggle of happiness. Every parents dream.

My problem is unfortunately that I can't say no to my daughter and that I believe that kids need to learn from mistakes as I did - even if that means falling off the horse. Yes, you know what's coming up next.

It was my turn last weekend, and I was holding the horse (pony) as a good parent. When they had to trot, my daughter said firmly that she could do it alone and that I had to let go - so I did. 5 seconds into the trot, the fecking horse started to trot faster, and I was trying to keep up, running in the thick soil and horse pooh - not an easy task.

Then it happened, in slow motion. She started to slide off the horse and landed on the ground. Of course she got a fright and started to cry, so I picked her up. I couldn't care less about the horse, which annoyed the instructor I think.

Now, this is how tough my daughter is. She cried for 30 seconds and then she was ready to get back up on the horse. Of course I had to have a serious chat with the horse, and had to threaten it with our labrador (who doesn't hurt a fly) that he would bite the horses ass, if he didn't behave.

When we came home, my wife gave out to me for letting go of the horse. But, but, but, our daughter said she could do it!?

She is still riding the horse and loving it. Happy ending.

Dad, are we going on holidays?

The Celtic tiger has, if you haven't noticed, been stabbed, mugged, run over, shot and is therefore dead. Not trying to be morbid or anything, but it's a fact. The Irish economy is probably one of the worst economies in Europe (East and West), if not the worst in the Western world.

For years, most people in Ireland have had too much money and have spent it on traveling to exotic places, not only once a year, but perhaps multiple locations. I've been no different. Hey, why should we sit at home, when we can afford going to beautiful locations around the Globe, seeing sights you've only dreamed to see?

So, our kids have already, at the ages of 4 and 5, been on several long haul flights to Mexico, Dominican Republic, USA, Costa Rica and multiple locations in Europe.

The problem with this is not the fact the it might have cost you a lot of money, which was worth it, but the fact that you've spoiled your kids into thinking that we can go to these locations every year. I had to pay for this in full, when my 5 year old daughter asked me (with a smile on her face and a glimmer of hope in her eyes) when her summer school break started, "dad, can we go to Costa Rica again?"

There was no way of avoiding this question, so I simply told her that we couldn't afford it this year and that we would be traveling around Ireland instead. I just managed to extinguish the glimmer in her eyes and remove her smile, just with those simple words. My heart was in pain as my daughter's disappointment became more and more visible - to the point where a tear was building up in her left eye.

How do you explain to a 5 year old kid that you can't afford to go abroad this year, swimming with dolphins, sliding across the jungle on a wire, sailing on rivers, swimming in ocean + pool and have parties every night; not to mention all the fabulous food and ice-cream?

In fairness, my daughter understood our dilemma. I talked to her and explained that we need to save up money, so by going on holidays in Ireland, we could save up money to go on a nice trip next year. But, the important part is, she wanted to help us save money. She brought me her piggy bank and said we could save up together. Now, that made me so proud and emotional.

My little girl is growing up so fast.

So, during the summer of 2009, we will be traveling around Ireland to see some of the beautiful sights here and will blog about our adventures.

What's with the duck?

This blog is mainly intended to explain some of the Danish Christmas traditions, especially if you have experienced these and wondered "WTF, these Danes are weirder than allowed, they are eating duck for Christmas, not mentioning all the other food they eat. How do they stay so fit?".

It doesn't even help being Danish as to why we eat duck, and it was never explained to me either. It was not one of these things, where your dad took you to one side to explain the tradition behind the mighty duck feast. My dad just told us kids to eat what's being served. And, I was probably a lot more interested in the presents than the duck anyway.

To make matters even more complicated, not all Danish people eat duck! It depends where you live. People living in Copenhagen, the snobs, are more likely to eat Goose with silverware, whereas the culchies from Funen are more inclined to eat duck with wooden cutlery. So, I've decided to investigate this in more detail.

Some useless background information. In 2007 there were almost 250.000 wild ducks in Denmark. That's impressive, until you discover that there were 16 millions chickens. Who counted all these birds, and why, I do not know. Not interested in verifying the numbers by recounting, so I'll take their word for it.

In most countries, including Denmark, it is tradition to eat either turkey or ham (or both) for Christmas, served with gravy and spuds (potatoes). But, there's obvious a reason why some Danes eat duck, and here's the reason.

- this is not a trade secret or at the same level as Santa's existence, so you can share this knowledge with your friends.

The main reason behind the duck actually starts with another Danish tradition called Morten's Aften. Not sure how to translate that into English, other than calling it Morten's Evening. This tradition is symbolising the day where Morten was voted bishop in Germany, the 11th of November in or around 370 AD. Morten actually didn't want to become bishop, so he hid among the geese, but was discovered when the geese started to make a lot of noise.

What confuses me about this tradition is, why the hell the Danes adopted it? It is based on a Italian legionaries' son and when he got older founded monasteries in Germany. All around the time when the Danes were still clubbing each other and fighting off the Fenris Wolf.

Anyway, it should in fact be geese that is eaten on Morten's Aften instead of duck. Geese have always been slightly more expensive to buy, so I assume that poorer families couldn't afford to eat Goose for neither Morten's Aften or Christmas, and substituted it with duck. I guess you could compare it with buying Lidl products instead of more expansive brands such as M&S.

From what I can gather, and knowing the Danish mentality of simplicity (you see it with Danish designed furniture; simple, but fantastic), something similar happened for the Christmas dinner. Why reinvent the wheel, when we already know the duck is cheap and tastes nice? The working class still couldn't afford buying geese and bought ducks instead. Absolutely nothing wrong with this approach, as it tastes much nicer anyway.

You could go as far as to argue that the duck is the working class goose, and therefore the main dish for both Morten's Aften and Christmas.

Later, when people started to have more money, they started to add additional dishes to the Christmas dinner. Duck was no longer the main course only, but became part of the entire Christmas feast. Many Danish families eat duck, pork (crackling) roast, pork sausages, beet-root, white potatoes, brown (sugar coated) potatoes and not to forget ris al amande for dessert.

Now do you understand why some Danes have a little belly, especially around Christmas? Or, is our body shapes simply a result of living in a fast food, and eat more if you can, era?

- that's deep, I know.

Personally, I don't care why we eat duck. It simply tastes fantastic. I'm already looking forward to the next Christmas dinner. That's my reasons. Yours?