Having kids...does that change your life?

When the Americans dropped the nuclear bomb, twice, on Japan, did that change the country (both countries in fact)?  Well, of course it did.  I know, it is probably not the best or most appropriate analogy, and my wife will most likely punch me when she reads this, but you get the picture.

For the record, I love my kids very much and would not change them for anything in the World, and would do anything to keep them safe.  So, I'm like most parents out there.

It was, however, a surreal experience to become a dad at first.  Being handed the little bundle of joy and told that is your kid so love it, takes some time to adjust to.  Your wife had almost 9 months adjusting and living with the baby inside, whereas you have to catch up in approx. 22 seconds - if you don't react positively or correctly, then your wife, who is still in labour pains, will curse and beat you openly.  But, that's another blog all together.

But, having kids does change your life, no question about that.  There are sooooo many things you are no longer able to do, not because you can't, but because you now have new priorities.  On the other hand, there are sooooo many things you can do again, things you haven't done for years and secretely dream of doing again.  I'm talking to the inner child here.

I have to admit, you miss being able to simple take your girlfriend (wife) by the hand and go to Paris for a spontaneous romantic weekend.  Yes, you can do it, but with kids you need to organise baby sitters, often relatives, to mind your kids.  And, these relatives are too nice to say yes, even if they really don't want to - "of course we will look after your kids this weekend, while you are off enjoying yourself in Paris!!"  It'll cost you for years to come as well and will be mentioned in every speech at every family party thereafter - so perhaps that isn't the best of ideas.

Another thing I miss is getting absolutely hammered with friends and my wife.  Getting home late or early in the morning, getting a kebab on the way home, only to wake up the next morning with kebab sauce on your shirt and in your hair - not too mention the massive headache and hangover.  You most likely wake up well after lunch / early afternoon.

Waking up with a hangover, and having kids, is the worst combination ever.  Our kids have tendencies to wake up very early on weekends.  We are talking before 06.30.  I guess they simply want to spend all day with their parents, so they run straight into our bedroom to see if we are up.  Lying there with a hangover, while your son bangs or slaps your head with his hands and your daughter imitating Sarah Brightman cures any hangover - or does it?  If you try to pull the duvet over your head, then they just join you underneath it, thinking that you are playing with them.  You gotta love them.

But, you are getting older, so you can't last as long in the pub or drink as much as you could back in the young days anyway.  We've gone out with friends, leaving the kids at home, to get some food and drinks, only to find that we are all getting slight tired around 23ish (11pm ish).  Personally, I'm getting so old that I can't stand sitting in a noisy pub, pretending to hear what people say and laugh at the wrong time in a joke.  So, I enjoy having friends over instead or visit them of course.

Traveling with kids is just a challenge, nothing else.  Don't make too much of a scene out of it.  You can read more about our experiences in our other blogs, but we've been lucky with our kids.  Perhaps it is simply a matter of trying to entertain them, get them food and make sure they have enough sun protection on (unless you have your holiday in Ireland like we did!) while bathing in the pool.  Most parents are, I think, more worried about how their kids behave and what other people might think, rather than letting their hair down and relax - honestly, if you worry too much, then you end up being too stressed and not enjoying your time with the family.  YES, they need to behave, especially when having dinners, and they will - most of the time.  :-)

Now, having kids brings something back that you have been without for ages - playing with toys.  As a father, you might as well admit it, you have always wanted to play with toys again.  It doesn't matter what toys (barbies would be the wrong choice to suggest or play with, with your son) as long as you can drive the little cars on the floor again, build amazing worlds with Lego or make funny faces.

I myself, absolutely enjoy playing with Lego again.  I find myself suggesting Lego to the kids, spread the pieces on the floor and start building house, castles, roads, etc.  I don't even notice that the kids have either left or fallen a sleep, and my wife looks funnily at me from the door - just because I make all the real sounds too.  You know, a plane doesn't just fly silently, does it?
My kids seem to enjoy playing Lego with me, I think, as they always ask me to build the zoo or princess castle.  It doesn't take much to persuade me either.

Going to the toy store is another thing I really like.  Running down the isles with the kids, looking for a new cool toy.  I tend to stop at the Lego or Playmobil, to see how much has changed since I was a kid.  I probable selected and bought 97% of the Lego, the last 3% they got as a present from my parents (my dad probably chose it).  My parents have still kept all my Lego and Playmobil, just in case we come home on holidays and the kids want to play.  I still remember the first set of Playmobil I got when I was a kid - Harzen (Germany), April 1979, indian village with indians, cowboys, tents and horses - coool.

People don't even look weird at you anymore, when you test different toys in the toy store, merely because your kids are there too.  Don't worry, just go for it, it is so much fun to play again.

The other day, I tested my wife and mentioned food fight during dinner.  She laughed nervously and gave me the stare.  Us men know the stare from our wives well, and what the different stares means, so this one was "Don't you dare!"  I didn't dare, but my daughter did, and within minutes the four of us were laughing and throwing pasta at each other.  Pasta solo is fun as it sticks to your face, but pasta with tomato sauce is not that much fun, especially afterwards when I have to clean up.

We now enjoy meeting friends for late lunches or early dinners, normally in the houses, and have a lot of great laughs.  Yes, we get some alcohol too, but moderate consumption, and the sessions last normally 2-4 hours, depending on how long the kids can last.  I meet my mate occasionally for either golf or in the pub to watch football, but not as often we might want.  But, it doesn't really matter anymore, as our weekends are fully packed with kid activities, such as horseback riding.

So, your life has changed completely and now everything is being planned around the kids' schedule.  It takes a couple of years to adjust, but you will soon adapt to the new life style.  A quote from a great Clint Eastwood movie ("Heartbreak Ridge") "Improvise, adapt and overcome" says it all.

When the kids get a bit older, you get the chance to do some of all these things again.  Looking at my parents, they had a huge party when I moved out and haven't looked back since.  In fact, they never offered me my room back when I had some financial problems as a student.  "You moved out, remember, and you are an adult now", that was what I got.

Anyway, I enjoy being a silly dad, within the 4 walls of our house of course, and I treasure all the hours ahead of me with loads of toys and all these wonderful Christmases and birthdays, with even more toys - yahoooo.  I'm sure it'll get to a point where my kids don't want to play with me, as they are with their friends and don't want to be embarrassed by me, but they go to bed earlier than me.   he he he he

And remember, you will get grandkids one day, so you have to stay sharp.

Piece of cake, traveling with kids!

Who said it was difficult and challenging to travel with kids, especially travelling with kids less than 2 years old - and two of them?

Well, we’ve been on several short and long haul flights with our kids across Europe and the Atlantic to visit the Caribbean).  They have behaved really well 99% of the time.  It's the last 1% that can be tricky and that everybody is giving out about.  The moment when everything is completely out of control.

As a parent, you of course dread the moment you step onto the plane.  Deep inside you fear that something odd will happen that results in an outright and devastating disaster such as uncontrollable screaming and a fierce attack of smelly pooh.  The despair and fear is equally present in the faces of your fellow passengers.  Reading their mind would scare most kids, and some adults, into depression.

You have witnessed how some kids can behave on journeys, other kids of course.  But most of the time, their parents let them crawl on the seats, play with noisy toys or run around like small versions of William Wallace - screaming "Freeeeeedom!"  Other times, kids just want to make the most of the journey, testing their parents' resolve and sanity, doing stuff they would never do at home.  But, the worst case scenario is something far more deadly and invisible - smelly pooh, vomit, sudden emotional outburst and high pitch screams.  Screams so loud that even the pilot appears, fearing that some electrical circuits will be damaged or windows pop.

The first thought you have when sitting down in you designated stamp sized seat, while trying to hold your child and luggage, is "Will the kids behave again?"

There's always a doubt at the back in your mind, and even when you look at your offspring's eyes and their excited smile, you know anything is possible with these tiny buggers.

The worst thing you can do is to make a fuss of it or remind them to behave, which I normally do, as this just triggers a natural defence mechanism, wanting them to revolt against orders.  If you start pushing them around, hassling them or anticipate trouble, then it will come - that's the way it works with kids.  I was exactly like that as a kid.  Just ask my parents.

We had an incident flying home from the Dominican Republic.  These long haul flights are normally night flights and the plane takes off around 21.30 (ish).  There had been problems during check-in, which is another blog, and it made me very anxious.  Our kids were getting tired, which is good and bad.  We were the last people on the plane, ran to our seats and tried to smile calmly to the other passengers, assuring them that everything would be fine.

The first hour of the flight was the worst of my life.

• Our son tired and hungry = not a great combination
• Our daughter exhausted = less favourable, and not too violent outbursts

Within minutes of take-off, both kids were crying - no, let me rephrase - screaming their lungs out.  My left eyebrow started to twitch nervously and I wrongly attempted to force them to sit still in their seats during take-off.  I often use a trick taught to me by my father, which is speaking angrily through my teeth, only moving the lips, and having angry eyes.  My son was actually sitting in a cot bed attached to the wall and didn't have any reason to complain - I thought.  They both wanted to be with mummy.

It took some excellent parenting skills from my wife to calm them down, and then they slept the rest of the flight.  Brilliant!  My wife has some amazing powers that only women possess.  They don't care about the noise level or other people's stares, and simply gets down to business of relaxing the kids.  This normally takes anywhere from 5 - 55 minutes.

Other locations for minor tantrums or scenes are:

• By plane, train or bus; my greatest phobia is changing diapers in small confined spaces, e.g. airplane toilets.  The smell travels so damn fast, especially through air condition systems, and can trigger bio-hazard alarms to go off and they this is to the annoyance of fellow travellers.
• By car; when you are the driver and you can do nothing about the noise level.  You can feel the blood pressure increase by the second.  The only option is to pull over and take a breather.  Read this blog for an example.
• By car; a toilet is urgently needed, so you are forced to stop at the side of the road (doesn't matter if this is the busiest motorway in Europe) and hold your child in an awkward position while they do their business.  You will with 99.99% certainty get pee on your shoes, pants, child's pants + underwear and the car – probably all of them.
• By bus; where your child needs to go to the toilet NOW and the toilet on the bus is either none existing or faulty.   Do you pee on the floor?
• By boat; again, your daughter desperately has to pee.  The only option is to let her pee on the floor of the boat - it's full of water anyway.

Travelling by train is actually easy.  You can quickly get to the toilet, plenty to see and you would have packed a survival lunch bag/box.  There's no need for kids to be strapped in, so they can be entertained.

Something that has worked very well for my wife and I, is to bringing loads toys.  These could easily be toys bought in EuroSaver shops, as long as they have something new to play with.  It is only when the kids get older that they demand PS3/DS games or and iPod.

For long or short journeys by car, I can highly recommend a portable DVD player and a few hundred DVDs.

Bring plenty of snacks and drinks, and of course changing clothes if you should have a small accident.

Enjoy your next holiday - I know I will.

In fairness, our kids are actually very good travellers and rarely cause unnecessary trouble for us.  They read their books, play with toys or watch a movie.  Lately, my daughter has started to sing for us while we are driving, but I’m for some reason not allowed to join in or sing solo.  Imagine if somebody her me!

My wife is fantastic with the kids and really knows how to calm them.  One of her methods involves putting on loud music in the car, so nobody can hear anything or simply just listen to her iPod.  Seriously, she has some magic that only she knows and she refuses to teach me.  I’m sure she will teach our daughter the same magic one day.

Again, thanks to my wonderful wife, we can travel in total calmness.

Am I a bloghead, a loner and weirdo?

Don't answer that question by the way. I know you are tempted, but let me take a stab at it.

One thing is to sit in a quiet dinner party or a loud pub, trying to explain and tell about an event to friends, family or colleagues, another thing is to get the point across and be understood.

I'm proud of my family and what I've achieved, so proud that I have no problem telling people about - if they want to listen. And, listening can sometimes be difficult for some people, so a blog is in my opinion a better media. How many times haven't you tried to tell a story to your friend, uncle or colleague, only to find that he/she is not paying attention at all. I've caught a few people already just glazing at me, not listing, and I just throw in the odd sentence or word like "...then we drove down road towards the beach, and ran over a pygmy, and let the dog run on the beach...". No reaction means no connection to their skin flaps on the side of their heads (ears), and no connection to the blob inside.

My mum would most likely be totally against the notion of putting anything remote personal up the Internet, as she thinks people would only use it to carry out less honourable actions...and she might be right, hence I'm not too sure how much detail I want to share with the Internet world. In fairness, my mum is probably not the best authority for Internet security and usage, as she struggles on seeing how we can call for free using Skype. She's convinced that someone, somewhere, is charging us. And, while on a Skype video call, I rarely see her face, as the camera points more at the ceiling, so I end up looking at the top of the frames on her glasses.

Another point is that I always wanted to write a book about my life, simply because I think it has been a really good life. Plenty of funny moments, but also loads of less proud moments. Nobody would read my book, let’s be honest (and few people would read my blog), but at least I get to share this easily with my family and friends. In other words, I'm probably doing this more for myself than for you, some would say it is my midlife crisis, but I would tell them bugger off.

So, how much detail should I give in these blogs? Pictures, real names, locations, etc.? Hell no, all that is really unimportant. The important piece is the event itself, not the identities of my family and friends. At least, this also gives me some comeback, in case a friend gets upset about a story. I can always say it was about him.

My biggest problem is, how do you write a blog? And, the honest answer is: "I haven't got the faintest idea". I simply write, let my wife read it first and then publish it. It would be great if people could give me their feedback / comments, but hopefully they are too busy laughing at my stories. I try to keep each blog short (ish), as there's nothing more boring that somebody writing a long blog, like this one, about nothing.   Not in it for the fame, but just because I'm worth it.  :-)

So, sit back, get some coffee (not decaf) and enjoy a bit of light reading.

Epic battle between Mac and PC

My computer enthusiasm started back in the early 80's when I got my Commodore Vic20, with a whopping 5KB of RAM. Looking back, it was an absolutely piece of crap, but it was the dogs bullocks back then. I swapped it a few years later for a Commodore 64 and played some of the awesome games "International Karate" and "Pitstop II". I still remember tuning the head of the tapedrive, with a screwdriver, getting the lines straight on the TV to load the games. Oh, the fun I had. A few years later i upgraded my C64 to the latest in gaming computers, the slimline and super cool Commodore C128. Now I was in control of my life, with word processor and ultimate gaming experience.

PCs entered my life in the early 90s, but mainly in college and at my friend's place (his dad was a journalist). In '94 I acquired my first PC, so I could play Red Alert. The gaming addiction took over and I got involved with networking games, but just a couple of weekends were wasted on games and alcohol. We would transport all our gear to a mate's apartment, connect all the PCs with coaxial cables and attempt to configure a small network. It took time and worked most of the time. We played all kinds of games, none of the bought, but shared - to the anger of many game developers I'm sure. If you were tired, then you simply slept on the floor or a sofa, didn't matter, and continued the game when you woke up again. Totally antisocial behavior, despite being in the same room as 12 of your mates. You could smell and hear them, but the only conversation was hurling abuse at each other for getting killed. Girls just don't understand the bonding that takes place at such events.

So, for many years I've been using PC and these have evolved to become these powerful units that could run a small country. The graphics cards are nowadays standard at 256MB, has probably even changed to 512MB, and the games are mind blowing - try compare the Vic20 game cards with Command & Conquer 4 or Modern Warfare.

Despite trying, I never really got hooked on the game consoles and the games, the controlles were just too different for me, when you are used to mouse and keyboard. Well, I had the Wii of course, but that keeps you fit, right?

So, when a friend of mine persuaded me to get a Mac a few years ago, you can understand my skepticism. Why the hell would I get a Mac? They are only for designers and you can only get the "Sim City" game - wow, great!!! But, I tried it anyway, I needed something for music and iTunes is a great application for managing the music - and for abusing the credit card when buying music online.

So, I bought a MAC for my wife. I couldn't been seen with a Mac among my friends, could I? Well, after unpacking the beast and connecting the one cable, it only took me 10 minutes to have it configured and surf the web. This completely blew my mind and perception of Mac. How simple could it be. I no longer had to spend 40 minutes installed a fecking HP printer. I connected the same printer to the Mac, it detected it and asked me what I wanted to print.

Everything is so much easier and faster on the Mac. What took me ages on a Windows PC, only takes me a few minutes on the Mac. As an example, we had for years tried to setup a family web site, using the PC and FrontPage, but that was almost an impossible task. Now, with iWeb we had a web site up and running within a few hours. The longest bit was to find the least embarrassing pictures to publish of us. You can even get some of the cool newly released games for the Intel based Mac, iMac.

Today, 2 years after my first affair with a Mac, I've turned my back on the previous long-term relationship I had with PC. I feel guilty some times, but only for 3-4 minutes. Now, I still have a Windows computer, but that is only to play Windows only based games. It is turned on twice a month, and each time it needs to download 50-60 Microsoft updates, and probably reboot 3 times, before I can play my game.

I should really be selling Mac for a living. Friends, family and colleagues have been convinced to buy Mac. Even my parents have bought themselves a Mac and are delighted. My dad, who never in his life managed to power on a Texas calculator, can start a Skype connection with us to see his grand kids.

So, now we are a Mac house; iMac, Mac Mini, Mac Air, iPod, iPhone, AppleTV, Base stations and MAC email addresses. Steve Jobs, if you need somebody to test your latest invention, call me. Would I recommend a Mac? What do you think?

Irish Vacation 4 - Kilkenny

So, we are almost at the end of the school summer vacation and we are planning the last few weekend trips with the kids. It's not that it is difficult to find stuff to do around Dublin, but it is somewhat difficult to find something that interests the kids.

We were meant to go visit a farm, petting all the smelly animals and stepping in all kinds of pooh, but that didn't happen due to "Project Total Makeover" (see blog). For that reason, we decided to do a short trip to Kilkenny - only 1.5 hours drive each way, not bad.

This time, the dogs stayed in the house and Snowflake was in the kennel due to Angel's incident last weekend, and also to save some hard earned cash - which my wife spent on "Project Total Makeover".

The usual bags were packed with snacks, diapers, drinks, butt wipes, changing clothes, DVDs, and of course rain gear. Kids locked into their seats during take-off, wife with her cool shades in the passenger seat (my co-pilot), GPS enabled and of course the iPhone connected for music.

We left around 10ish (at least that was the plan), but didn't hit the N7 until 11.30ish. So, first stop would be Carlow to get lunch. You would remember, from previous blogs, that my son needs his food around 12.30 (+/- 4 minutes on either side) or we the parents will experience a new apocalypse in the car.

We spotted a nice traditional family restaurant outside Carlow and pulled in. Traditional Irish pub was what we were looking for, and which we got. My god, my son was liking his plate approx. 7 minutes after being served, and I was still cutting my meat - he sometimes scares me, with the amount and speed he eats. The food was fantastic and good value for money. Food for 4, incl. drinks, less than €50.

Off to Kilkenny, which is only 30-40 minutes drive from Carlow. You know you are in the countryside, when the smell of cow shit hits your nostrils like a shovel in the face. You are finding it hard to breathe, until you remember not to use your nose. Pretty dangerous if you are the driver, but I didn't pass out.

Upon arriving in Kilkenny, I had to wake up my wife. She managed to fall asleep 5km outside Kilkenny! The car was parked at the local Dunnes Store shopping centre and we made our way to the main street - after the entire family had to go to the toilets, as you have to with kids.

Kilkenny is a very nice little town. The streets are narrow and there are plenty of shops. It is so much nicer than Galway. It surprised me in a positive way. We spent the nice 3 hours in Kilkenny, seeing everything that could be seen while walking and headed back to Dunnes Store's toilets before leaving Kilkenny.

Before telling about the return trip, I need to tell a short story about my dad. He always had a short fuse, especially when driving with us kids. The slightest noise, kicking or argument and he would go off. He is adamant that it was because he couldn't concentrate. Once he even stopped the car, took my toy and flung it out the window, then he continued the journey.

I now know what he went through.

We had barely left Kilkenny, before my daughter started to scream. A small brown butterfly had invaded her personal space and was sitting looking at her on her window. I twisted my arm around and managed to kill the poor thing. My son was at the same time trying to pull his DVD cable out, to the frustration of my wife.

Then the DVD started to skip. My daughter didn't mind, but with the sound blaring into my ears, while skipping, made me twitch the left eye.

Then the evil twin, of the brown butterfly emerged. My daughter screamed again, "Dad, KILL IT!". The DVD still blazing (and skipping), and my son was starting to wind up too, as he was thirsty.
- the 2nd butterfly apparently died, just like that, by itself!

All this within 20 minutes of leaving Kilkenny.

I was so tempted to rip off the DVD player and throw it out the window, but the movie were "watching" was a rental. Would be pretty difficult to explain to the rental store. So, I pulled out the power instead, which my daughter did NOT appreciate.

My wife put on the kids' favorite music, and that calmed things down a bit. However, I could have a conversation with my wife, as the volume was at 50 (55 is max), but they like it she said!

We made it home in one piece again, and despite World War 7 in the car home, we had a very nice trip to Kilkenny.

"Project Total Makeover"

Another of the "cost saving" events that has taken place in our small household this summer, instead of going to Florida for two weeks, has been a house makeover project. The project was perfectly timed with IKEA's opening in Dublin and not to mention the perfect DIY (indoor) weather in Ireland; windy and rainy.

"Project Total Makeover" is another of these family planned projects, to engage and gather the family, doing something together other than watching movies. We got close alright!

The changes and updates to the interior of the house are meant to create happiness and make the environment much more feng shui - which it did. However, at what cost? I personally have patience like the Tasmanian Devil and I like to do things a certain way - often the opposite to my wife or kids. This in itself causes some minor pillow fights, throwing of stuffed (and live) animals and a few tantrums or hissy fits. The latter mainly caused by me.

Our experience of IKEA has already been explored in previous blogs, so I'm not going into that trauma again - it's not good, according to my psychiatrist. Below are some of the activities we did during the summer, as a family; wife and kids looking at daddy loosing 20lbs working. :-)

- in fairness, my wife has a fantastic eye for detail and can easily tell me if I missed a spot. My son is brilliant at re-organising/demolishing anything and my daughter sings while I'm sweating. What more can a husband/father ask for?

Tiles 'R Us; the bathroom had, since the extension was done, been looking awful, with bare plasterboards and grouting all over. I had on several occasions offered to tile the bathroom, but my wife lacked evidence and trust in my tiling abilities. However, she did permit me to buy the tiles and get somebody else to do the job. End result, we have a beautiful shitter under the stairs.

Our House; so many things need to be done to the house, minor things, that we've postponed. Adding them up and getting them done just gives me bumps and makes me itch. I have many Microsoft Excel spreadsheets on my Mac, where we have tried to list them all. We really need to get something done about this list. Perhaps I could use Mac Numbers instead?

The Fields of Barley; or should I say, our not landscaped garden. Actually, it has been shaped so well by Mother Nature that we can't find the kids' swing. One of the dogs went missing in the garden last month, for two days! So, my wife persuaded me to get petrol for the lawnmower and run out between rain showers to cut the grass. I was amazed with the stuff I found. It was something out of Jurassic Park (Costa Rica memories), and don't step into the tall grass as that means the dogs have fertilised the soil there! I'm certain I discovered unknown plants, before they felt the pain of my lawnmower, and some new insects. At one point, standing in the back, I thought I was lost too, but then I discovered my homemade fence and followed it to the house. Ray Mears or Bear Gills, can you survive 48 hours in my garden?

Fruit of the Loom; this was a pure family (kids) project. I build a small vegetable garden with my daughter and the kids could choose the stuff to put in it, i.e. vegetables. We went to the garden centre, where my daughter quickly picked 11 flowers, different shades of pink, and new boots. The garden centre didn't have any vegetables, other than leeks and Brussels sprouts - so be it. Now we have a beautiful vegetable/flower/weed bed, and have absolutely no idea when we can eat the Brussels sprouts. The joys of being DIY gardener.

The Learning and Breathing Room; for my wife and I have worked on the kids rooms. We (my wife) have painted characters on the walls and wardrobes, replaced the floor, installed blinds. Another plan, for the past year, has been to give them each their room. IKEA is sneaking back into the picture. So, we bought the furniture and I assembled it, with my eagle eye wife and commanding daughter - while my son was throwing screws down the stairs! The result is that my daughter has a gorgeous HC Andersen bed, nightstand, office desk (still in the box) and a shelving unit (still in IKEA) in her room, alongside our son's bed. His room is not ready yet. BUT, it will be this weekend, I swear.

...and we did finish the room as promised.

Da Vinci master piece; my proud moment was building a fence from scratch, and it is still standing. The fence was meant to keep the dog pooh in one area, with the dogs, so the kids could roam freely in the garden. A mate of mine volunteered to help, so while the kids and wives were inside, we put on the gloves, goggles, tool belt and grabbed the saw. Two MBA graduates building a fence, how hard could it be. We carefully measured, dug holes for the poles, cut boards and drilled in screws. I don't know who were more surprised or amazed, our wives or us. Time to test it. We let the dogs out into their new dog run and they instantly started to chew their way through the fence....aaaaarrrrrggghhhh! Oh well, it was fun building it and I still find the odd splinter in my fingers.

We have had a very productive summer, as you can see, and it has been worthwhile, not doubt. I really enjoyed spending time with my family and friends, and would rather do gardening than go to Florida!!

Was it cost effective. Of course not. We've spend a fair bit of money on getting the house in order, but the house is so much nicer now. We can actually use the garden again and have friends over for BBQ as well. It was a nice feeling spending money on your own place rather than spending it on drinks, food and activities in an exotic location. Overall, we didn't spend as much money as we did on our holidays abroad, which is good.

She's my Angel

This is, which to some might seem stupid and weird, a tribute to my friend and companion through many years, Angel. If you are a very emotional person, easy to tears, then you should not read this blog. I also apologize for the length of this blog.

Angel is a Bernese Mountain dog, who has been with the family for the past 8 years. My wife and agreed that we, when we bought our house, would buy a couple of dogs. I surprised my wife with a white labrador, which she for some reason named Snowflake, and we bought a Bernese Mountain dog for me, which I called Angel.

To be clear, my wife was not under the influence of any substance when she named the male labrador Snowflake.

Buying a Bernese Mountain dog is not easy. Mainly because it is not bred and sold as other breeds, and the people who do sell them are often very weird. This was also the case when we bought Angel. I contacted a breeder in co. Cork, who in turn contacted somebody he knew around Dublin. This person called me to organize a viewing. Very cloak and dagger.

We found the house, after a few hours on the road, and were greeted by a giant Bernese Mountain dog. This was Angel's mother. The owners welcomed us, offered us tea, soup and cake, and then the grilling started. I wasn't prepared for a 2 hour interview, as to why we wanted a Bernese. It became even more awkward when their daughter arrived to hug the puppy (aka Angel) goodbye, while crying. We paid the family and raced off, away from these weirdos.

From an early start, it was clear that Angel was a lady and very sensitive. She only wanted to sleep on towels or blankets, not newspapers like the labrador. It wasn't accepted by her, to pee on newspapers either and she would take at least 30 minutes to find a proper spot to do #2 - and if you looked at her, it wouldn't happen at all!

The labrador fell in love with her at first sight, but Angel never took the relationship further than just being friends. And my god did Snowflake try to take it further - he at least takes rejection very well.

Angel grew very fast and became a proper lady. She developed some funny habits, such as whistling, going between your legs (no matter how short the person is) and showing her teeth if a person breathes on her with bad breath.

Also, you know she has done something wrong, when she starts to whistle.

This was the case when we would arrive home from work and find the dogs covered in white dust, pretending nothing had happened. They had in fact made large holes in the plasterboard walls, but this seemed normal to them.

Sometimes, which happens rarely, she becomes a puppy again, and makes a few funny jumps and attempts to play with the other dogs, but that only lasts for 40-60 seconds. She likes to dance, but only with me, and will occasionally jump / stretch up to my shoulders to get a hug and a slow dance.

She's her own boss and will decide if she wants to speak to strangers or not. Until then, she'll growl and bark at them, but she is not hostile or angry - just another funny habit.

She's a perfect guard dog and protects the house VERY well. If somebody crossed the road, a mile from the house she'll know, and she will let that person know too, by barking furiously for a couple of minutes.

I'm certain that if an intruder was stupid enough to enter the house, she would protect the house well. The opposite could be said about the labrador. He would almost likely lick any intruder furiously and then hope to play instead.

Before we had kids, the dogs went most places with us. Angel loves to drive in the car, looking at the traffic passing by. A lot of by-passers would point at her, which made me feel happy. We would go to the mountains to walk the dogs, and Angel loves investigating the various paths, but she would always come if called and is rarely interested in other dogs.

I remember when we drove to Denmark by car, a mad journey when we look back at it, and she would gradually push Snowflake off the backseat so she could sleep outstretched. When we finally arrived at my parents place, she went straight into the living room and baked a giant cake on the carpet, as if to say, you kept me in confined space for two days and this is payback.

The years went by and kids starting to arrive in our family. Angel doesn't mind kids and doesn't want to play with them either. However, our kids can do anything they want with her, which includes sitting on her back when she's asleep. Our daughter would use Angel for support when she was learning to walk, which shows how gentle Angel is.

Last week, my wife and I woke up at 4am as we could smell pooh. I was asked to go down and discovered that one of the dogs had done both #1 and #2, which is highly unusual given their age. And, they had scratched the walls again, like they did when they were puppies. We cleaned up and went back to bed again.

It was only when I returned back downstairs later that morning, that I noticed that Angel was very drowsy - not herself. She would come when i called, but slowly. She almost passed out. My wife took her to the vet and came back in tears an hour later.

Not good news at all. Angel had had a stroke, which was the reason for the accidents in the kitchen and the walls being scratched. How are you meant to react? What do you tell the kids?

Angel hadn't passed away, but it was very close. Now she was lying alone in a cage; scared, with strangers and in pain. I couldn't help or hold her, telling her she would be OK. I refused to be too upset, especially with the kids around, so I kept cleaning the house to keep busy.

She came back to the house after two days, which was fantastic. She gained a few extra years and seems a bit more fragile, but she's back. I don't care that she has to take heart medicine. I'm just happy that the family is back together again.

How do you tell or show a dog how much she means to us? There are many things that you wanted her to experience. You never fully understand what it is like to loose somebody you love, until that moment comes.

Angel is my dog. She's not perfect, but I love her for what she is. She doesn't understand us, but she knows that we love her. I just hope we get a lot more time together.

Kneel before the mighty flatpack

Background Story:

IKEA opened in Belfast over two years, and before then all Irish citizens interested in flatpack furniture and Swedish meatballs were forced to go to one of the UK branches.

IKEA in Belfast, is apparently the largest IKEA outlet in the United Kingdom, so when it opened in December 2007 the police had put extra resources on the roads as more than 5000 cars made their way to Bangor Road. People from Scotland, Wales, Republic of Ireland and of course Northern Ireland were travelling to Belfast on their IKEA pilgrimage.

IKEA have always been interested in opening a store in Ireland, around Dublin, but the government has always refused them to build their huge outlet anywhere in the Republic.

The general reader might ask "Why?". Well the Irish government wouldn't allow superstores to be built larger than 20000 sq2, and IKEA wanted to build more than 30000 sq2. However, the policticians probably realised the money they could gain by granting permission and they changed the planning laws to allow IKEA build a superstore here in Ireland. Voila, true capitalism rules.

BUT, a green light in Ireland doesn't necessarily mean you can proceed!! The planning process stated in 2004 and was only approved in June 2007. The government decided to spend some of their "hard earned" EU money (grants) and started to upgrade the M50. And, as long as that work was being done IKEA was not permitted to build.....Argh!!! Fool (keep Mr T in your mind when you read that word).

- A rumour has it that IKEA offered the Irish government money to complete the IKEA roundabout and exit faster, but it was refused.

Finally, IKEA started to build their huge blue/yellow flatpack box in Ballymun and announced the opening date to be 27th July 2009. People even started to queue Sunday afternoon! On the day of the opening, 3000 people enter the main doors in the first hour alone.

- they even considered the M50 commuters when planning their opening hours, to ensure that traffic to IKEA didn't cause unnecessary delays - mucka bra, my Swedish friends. Only the Germans would have outdone you and build a dedicated road to IKEA, to take the traffic away from the hot spots.

The Pilgrimage to IKEA - my story:

The day had come and we planned a family trip to IKEA, like you do, to buy some furniture for our daughter's room - and a few extra bits I'm sure. We have always agreed a budget before we enter the IKEA stores, and we always agree afterwards that the budget was too small! This time we took the same approach.

- Budget: €500

IKEA Ireland opens at 11.00 on bank holidays, so we left the house at 11.30 and arrived at the giant blue cathedral 20 minutes later. And, due to the time we arrived, the car park was "only" 80% full - keep in mind, it had only been open for less than an hour. And, because of our sons impressive hunger, and outbursts if he doesn't get food, we went straight to the cafeteria to get the mandatory Swedish meatballs.

- Personally, these meatballs are nothing compared to the Danish meatballs.

So, after lunch we cruised the showrooms, wrote down all kinds of furniture and looked at all the furniture on display. You have to admit, they surely understand how to use the space and sell their furniture ideas VERY well.

We found a few things for our daughter, but they were sold out. I asked a friendly person, wearing a YELLOW IKEA shirt that would give any normal person an instant tan, when the goods will be delivered again. To my surprise, I was told that they don't get any shipments to IKEA in Ireland, until they can fill a giant shipping container. WHAT?! So, Irish people are no better off than they used to be, waiting for weeks (normally 4-12 weeks) for furniture to arrive from e.g. IKEA UK stores.

That unfortunately meant that we didn't buy the desk or shelves as planned. Thankfully my daughter didn't know we were planning to buy this, otherwise should would have skinned us alive and screamed so loudly that the windows in IKEA would burst - all of them.

Instead, we bought goods for almost €600, more than the agreed budget I know, but it was important stuff we brought home - right? That evening I assembled the furniture we bought and our daughter was over the moon when she saw her new bed (not from IKEA, but a Danish designed HC Andersen bed).

Was the IKEA experience as expected? Well, it's a bit like eating a McDonalds burger, a burp and a fart, and you are hungry again. IKEA is great and they have loads of excellent ideas and furniture. We could spend thousands of Euros there, and probably will.

Happy shopping to all you ABBA enthusiasts and IKEA fanatics. Sweden has only produced a few memorable things to the World:

• ABBA
• IKEA
• Volvo
• Drunken longhaired Swedes in Copenhagen
• Wasa crispbread

...and by the way, Denmark beat Sweden in the World Cup qualifier. :-)

Irish Vacation 3 - Cliffs of Moher

The time has come to be more adventures, and leave the safety of Dublin behind - or should I say "Get the hell out of Dodge!", as it is probably safer to be standing with an umbrella in a field, during a thunder storm, than walk around Dublin north inner city.

This time, even the dogs were going on holidays, so we had booked them in with our German kennel trooper for two days (1 night). The dogs love going there and getting plenty of exercise and get to play wild with the wolves.

So, early to bed Friday evening, car ready and all the stuff is packed for two days on the road. Pretty ambitious, but we only live once - yes I know, James Bond lives twice!

Alarm clock set, see you in the morning.

We were surprisingly up on time, before the alarm clock had a chance to ring, and got going. The kids had their breakfast, car loaded and dogs squeezed into the boot.

We had to drop the dogs off between 8 and 9 in the morning, I thought, but it was in fact between 9 and 10. So, we were early for a change. Tanked the car, had a breakfast roll and bought the paper. Then we dropped the dogs off and programmed the famous GPS to its next destination; Birr.

On the way to Birr, we stopped at Kinnitty Castlem and OH MY GOD, what a dump. Not worth writing about - don't go there!

Birr, is in my humble honest opinion a boring tourist location. I know I've just managed to offend an entire county, but there's NOTHING to see or do. We spend more than 30 minutes trying to find a pub to have lunch in, in the main street, and ended up having lunch in a cafe.

Next stop was punched into the GPS; Dromoland Castle. My wife had this fetish for years, to visit Dromoland Castle for afternoon tea, so we did - I'm a man, so I'll do my best to please my woman or at least make an effort to get some brownie points. It's an amazing castle, and the afternoon tea was great; excellent atmosphere and friendly staff. Evenen better, only €45 for tea and scones!!

We then headed for Corofin, which resembles coffin, where we had booked a B&B. The GPS took us the back roads, some roads were the same size as a footpath. It was a different experience. We saw things you normally wouldn't see on the main roads - and some things that were better left unseen.

There's nothing like a roadside stop, to help your daughter to pee, 30 km from the nearest toilet. And, it is VERY difficult to control the flow of pie from a girl. This unfortunately resulted in my daughter peeing on her pants, my fault I admit, so thankfully we had an extra pair of pants. Quick change and on the road again.

Corofin is actually a lovely little village, or rather a gathering of houses, and we stayed the night in a B&B. Apparently, according to the B&B landlady, the place really starts rocking after 21.00 - too bad the kids were in bed? We had dinner in a lovely pub in Corofin, and headed back to the B&B for an early night.

The room temperature was approx. 35 degrees (Celsius) and it was impossible to turn off the heaters. So, as you can imagine, we didn't sleep well - the kids did, and they woke early as usual, singing and playing at 06.30.

- brilliant breakfast by the way, good Irish full breakfast.

Next morning we headed towards the main attraction, the Cliffs of Moher. I asked the B&B landlady, how far it was, and she said 20 minutes. Then I asked how far to the Dormen, and it was also 20 minutes. Something wasn't right here. Should I ask her how far it is to Dublin?

The drive to Cliffs of Moher was easy and well signposted. It took us almost 40 minutes to get there - surprise. We parked the family Hummer and walked towards the Cliffs. Jaysus, these cliffs are huge. It looks like a giant seamonster took a huge bite of the coast. Breathtaking views, but beside the cliffs there is nothing to see. The viewpoints were well protected with fences, but you could still get right to the edge, if you walked a few miles along the cliffs' edge. My wife almost fainted by the thought and had some twitches when I took my daugther up in the view tower, to the roof, to see better.

We spent about an hour at the cliffs and then we headed for the hotspot Doolin. From Doolin you can go to the Arann Islands, and that's the only thing you can do in Doolin. We drove all the way to the port in Dublin and went straight back out. It didn't take long to visit Doolin.

We had to head towards Dublin again, as we had to collect the dogs before 18.00, otherwise the German kennel trooper would send us away again and charge us for another day - these Germans have great processes.

Talking about great views. You have to drive through the Burren in Co. Clare. It is stunning. I have never seen anything like it, and probably wont, but I'm so happy we brought the camera. The landscape is like a fairy tale.

As we left Co. Clare, the rain started to come down in sheets. My wife panics when I don't use the windshield wipers, even if I can count the drops on my hands. The slightest speck of water and I have to turn them on. So, I had the wipers on, on dry windows, which creates a very annoying sound and makes the wipers jump on the surface. That last for about 30 seconds.

We had loads of fun, even if we spent most of the time in the car. Even the kids had fun. However, it wasn't that funny when my son left something in his diaper that resembled toxic waste. It is amazing how such a small thing can be shared so quickly, in regards to the smell. What was worse, we had to change him at the roadside and drive with the diaper in the car, until we found a bin. The windows were all foggy on the inside, and we were getting dizzy.

- couldn't open the windows due to the rain!

As Dublin approached in the horizon (Bono, there actually is a line in the horizon), we knew we were almost home.  As we passed our exit, exhausted, we had to go another 40 minutes to pick up the dogs. On the way home we stopped at the local chipper, McDonalds, to get some nutricious food. A burp and a fart, and you are hungry again.

The trip was almost 800 km, but worth it. Well, my wife had a thing or two to tell me and the kids, after not having slept well in the B&B - things I will not utter in public. But, after a group hug and mummy tickle attack, she was laughing again. My bruises, a lovely present from my wife during the tickle attack, will eventually disappear - I hope.

Go and see the backroads of Ireland, visit some of the castles (not Kinnitty) and see the mighty Cliffs of Moher.